The Wounded Feminine in Men
We all have masculine and feminine energies, no matter how you identify.
There is a personal energetic dance that happens internally with the masculine and feminine energies of self, and then a relational energetic dance that happens externally with the masculine and feminine energies of others.
When speaking about masculine and feminine energies, there are several distinctions including whether the quality is wounded versus healthy/healed.
Several men I’ve spoken to recently have expressed acknowledging feeling insecure, self-sacrificing, and needy within their romantic relationships.
These are wounded feminine qualities.
If you feel similarly:
+ That you lose yourself in your relationship
+ Hide parts of who you are in order to keep peace and maintain connection out of fear of rejection or abandonment
+ Don’t feel like you measure up to imagined comparisons of her past partners or what you think a man should be in general
I invite you to try and be more present with yourself.
Try to look at yourself and the circumstance through a more objective and honest lens.
Because what we think and believe about a situation determines how we feel about it, our subsequent actions/reactions in response, and the ultimate result.
If what you do and think right now are giving you the results I mentioned above, maybe it’s time to gain some clarity around why.
You can ask:
❓What parts of me am I personally rejecting?
❓What parts of me do I feel are not lovable?
❓What parts of me did I need to hide or diminish in my past in order to feel accepted and loved by my mom? My dad? My main caretaker? My teachers? My friends?
❓Are there any examples of being accepted and loved when I have expressed these sides of myself to others?
❓Throwing out society’s definition and expectations of masculinity and being a man, what do I think? What does being a man mean to ME? Look like? Feel like?
The interesting thing about acknowledging where you’re acting from the wounded feminine, is that healed masculine qualities are what’s necessary to lean into.
And vice versa—if you can acknoweldge where you’re acting from wounded masculine, it’s healed feminine qualities you need to lean into in order to heal.
